Wait, Spiderman isn’t a Supermodel?

It occurs to me (somewhat belatedly) that I never bothered to explain WHY this blog is called “Culturally Disoriented”

I believe one example will suffice:

Yesterday I was reading the archives of the disturbingly hilarious blog Yo, Is This Racist?* In one post, a reader explains that he describing Stevie Wonder to a friend, and he forgot to point out that Stevie Wonder is black. Andrew Ti responds: “you have a friend who doesn’t know who Stevie Wonder is?”

I laughed. And then I realized I had no idea who Stevie Wonder is either.

Yes, I know.

And this, my friends, is just the tip of the Giant Iceberg of Very Important Cultural Phenomenons I know Absolutely Nothing About. Need more examples?

– I also thought rock bands were groups of people who went around collecting rocks. In my defense, I figured this one out when I was thirteen. But still.
– In spite being a hardcore science fiction fan, I have never read Robert Heinlein, watched Dr. Who or Star Trek, or seen any of the Terminator or Alien(s) movies.
– Until this summer, I had never eaten Macaroni and Cheese
– I have never seen an Indiana Jones Movie.
– I have never watched an episode of American Idol,** Survivor, the Bachelor, The Real Housewives of Any City On Earth, Jersey Shore, Project Runway, The Amazing Race or Dancing with the Stars.
– I didn’t know who Michael Jackson was until after he died.
– For the longest time, I was convinced Spiderman was the name of a really good exterminator. Because he’s the man who deals with spiders. Like the Garbage Man deals with the garbage. And the Tax man… you get my point. (At least now I know Spiderman is a male supermodel. Right? Right?)

Yeah as you can see, I’m really out of it (I prefer the term “disoriented”. The Iceberg of my Cultural Ignorance could sink ten Titanics.

English: An iceberg stuck in the river that dr...
The good news is that, thanks to global warming, my iceberg should soon melt.

In fact, it’s already melting. I do now know who Stevie Wonder is. Like the tagline says: I’m working on it:

* If you are not yet reading Andrew Ti, you should. A few days of watching him answer questions will convince you forevermore that the United States is not a “post-racial” society. Also, you’ll probably laugh until you cry.
There is a point, however, where you skip the laughing and go straight to the crying.

** Okay, the Idol thing is a bit inaccurate. I’ve read a great deal of American idol commentary, and in the last year or so, I’ve seen some of the better Idol performances. I also watched portions of episodes from last season, when Haley Reinhart was on. Because Haley Reinhart is incredible. But I’ve never seen a FULL episode.


2 Comments on “Wait, Spiderman isn’t a Supermodel?”

  1. […] Why this blog exists: (hint: American Idol is only the tip of the iceberg of the things I haven&#821… […]

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